top of page
What About Me
Unfiltered and heartfelt, our community opens up about the real-life journey of caring for loved ones—at home and across the wider community. Through personal stories and reflections, we share the triumphs, struggles, and quiet moments that define the caregiving experience.
Preparing for Christmas
Mum and I have always loved Christmas; it is the holiday we cherish the most, filled with delicious food and time spent with our loved ones. Sadly, as the years have passed and family members have passed away, our family has inevitably become smaller and smaller. Consequently, Christmas now looks significantly different from what I was once used to. Now, with Alzheimer’s added into the mix, things have changed even more. What should be a holiday to look forward to, a time to
Nov 273 min read
A Small Victory
As Mum's main carer, I face daily battles with numerous challenges while caring for her. So, when a small victory arises, it reminds me that even on the hardest of days, good will come. My main areas of difficulty are personal care and sleep with my Mum. I have always told myself that I will never dictate her life; it is her own, and I am there to support it, not control it. If Mum wishes to nap or go to bed when she wants, she does just that. I try to align my schedule with
Nov 171 min read
Finding Humour in Small Mishaps
There are times when you simply have to laugh. One thing that always brings a chuckle or helps me see the lighter side of a tough day is when my Mum adopts different accents during her outbursts. Sometimes she reverts to a Cockney accent, at other times she sounds like she’s from the Deep South, and occasionally she turns Irish! How or why this happens, I will never know, but it makes me laugh every time. If I were to get technical, we have family heritage from Ireland, relat
Nov 171 min read
Signs Starting to Appear
On this particular day, I came home from work and glanced into the living room before greeting Mum. She was sitting on the sofa with our family dog, watching her usual TV shows. Everything looked 'normal' so far, but something told me to look closer that day. I noticed her face appeared empty and drawn, lacking expression, with insufficient muscle tone to convey any emotion, and seeming too relaxed for someone who was awake. Had she had a minor stroke? Was this the beginning?
Nov 172 min read
Me, Them and Everyone I Love
How being a carer affects my relationships... Personal Relationships I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, and honestly, I'm a bit nervous about it, especially since I'm taking care of my Mum now. I worry about whether I’ll have the time for someone else and if my Mum's circumstances will make things complicated. Will anyone want to deal with my situation? All she ever wanted was for me to find someone nice who treats me well. Whether she’d understand if that ha
Nov 73 min read
"How to Talk to a Parent with Alzheimer’s: Lessons Learned the Hard Way"
When my mum was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I would correct her when she got details wrong, fill in her memories, and try to bring her back to the present. It didn’t take long to realise how exhausting and heartbreaking that approach was for both of us. Alzheimer’s doesn’t just steal memories; it rearranges communication itself. The rhythms, the logic, and the give-and-take of conversation change. I had to unlearn almost everything I thought I knew about how to talk to
Nov 72 min read
“Affordable Self-Care Ideas When You Can’t Get Away”
Caring for a mum with Alzheimer’s changes everything. The days can blur together — meals, medications, doctor’s visits, gentle reminders, and those endless small moments of redirection and reassurance. You love her deeply, but you’re tired, stretched thin, and sometimes you wonder if there’s anything left for you. We’re told to “take time for self-care,” but what if you can’t get away? What if respite care isn’t available, or your budget won’t stretch to a weekend off? The tr
Nov 63 min read
A Day in The Life of Me
Good morning — or at least, I think it’s morning. I have been awake since 3:30 am. It was very dark when I was woken up. I lie there for a moment, listening. Somewhere between the kitchen and her bedroom, Mum wanders from room to room, searching for who knows what. Surely it can't be time for breakfast; it feels as though I have only been asleep for an hour. When I sit up, I have to remind myself: do I really want to start the day now? Mornings are tricky. Mum no longer recog
Nov 62 min read
Taking a break doesn't mean giving up
I used to think that stepping away, even for a moment, meant I was letting Mum down. That if I really loved her — if I was strong enough, patient enough, devoted enough — I wouldn’t need a break. But Alzheimer's doesn’t just change the person you love. It changes you, too. Somewhere between the endless cups of tea, the repeated questions, and the sleepless nights, I began to disappear a little. The Guilt That Follows You Everywhere The first time I took a full afternoon off,
Nov 42 min read
Mum before Alzheimer's
Mum was a very laid-back person, shy around unfamiliar people, and mostly kept to herself. She had an amazing sense of humour and never took herself too seriously. Many people wanted to get to know her, but she only spent a small amount of time with others outside her family. She was never one for being overly sociable, but that was just how she liked it. Always busy, you would often find her doing something or going somewhere. She is, and always will be, very family-oriented
Nov 32 min read
Memory boosters
Photos of family members over the years enhance Mum’s memory. We discovered that having a small assortment, including images of her throughout the years, was beneficial in triggering happy memories, albeit for a brief period. Often, she would confuse pictures of me with those of her, and herself with my Nan, due to her facial recognition not being as sharp as it once was. We make a conscious effort to keep up with the ever-changing faces as everyone grows, especially her Gran
Nov 32 min read
Mum stopped eating
At least once a year Mum would take on voluntarily not eating. This was terrifying, her weight would plummet. In our situation she never fell past 8 stone when she did this. However, in Mum's world this was a lot! as she usually hovered around the 10 stone mark, so a 2 stone weight loss, looked very obvious on her small frame. I would panic as the days went on. I tried all sorts of different ways to get her to eat; homemade smoothies to get her 5 a day sweeter foods to bulk
Nov 32 min read
I have had enough
I remember being 3 years into caring for Mum, often feeling stressed and exhausted. The most common thought I had was, "I've had enough; I can't do this anymore." I have lost count of how many times I thought this. The daily abuse, the lack of appreciation, and the loss of my own life became overwhelming; my cup was officially empty!. What now? I felt stuck. I was having no luck with the NHS, and Mum was rejecting any approach to hiring carers. No one wanted to step into my s
Nov 32 min read
Creating my village of support
Caring for an elderly person or those who are unwell and vulnerable is a role that cannot be undertaken alone. It takes a village to care for someone, and by that, I mean family members, healthcare professionals, social workers, pharmacists, GPs, specialists, nurses, and carers—you name it; we need them all!. As a family carer, I know my Mum inside out and understand how she feels about being cared for, as well as what she does and doesn't want for her future when she started
Nov 32 min read
A seat for Mum
Going out for lunch was something Mum and I loved to do together. It provided us with quality time and the opportunity to eat at some really lovely restaurants. Once Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, we could still go out as normal for a short period, but as the months went on, this became a little trickier than I was used to. The timing of our outings became crucial to avoid overly busy restaurants at peak times. I often opted for a first sitting as the restaurants were op
Nov 33 min read
Sometimes you just need a hug from your Mum
Personal struggles and reminiscing about better days before Alzheimer's started to take over became increasingly difficult when I couldn't receive that much-needed hug from my Mum. She would push me away if her mood shifted. Whenever I was visibly upset, I tried to hide my face from her, to save upsetting her too. How I longed for a trip into the city to enjoy lunch at that Italian café we loved so much and to engage in the usual banter with the owner, who I was sure had a so
Nov 31 min read
Choose peace, not war
I was minding my own business, browsing on my laptop, doing as we are told to do as carers and 'not react'. I picked my battles this particular day and chose peace, not war. Mum was on one of her raging bull outbursts, and my gosh, was she going for it. In the blink of an eye, a freshly made cup of tea came hurling at me, spilling all over our hardwood floor, the rug, and smashing into one of Mum's much-loved elephant ornaments. 'Please don't do that, Mum, that's dangerous.'
Nov 31 min read
Explaining to the little ones, what's happening to Nanny
I remember the first change my Niece noticed in Mum. We were all sitting and watching TV in the early afternoon. Mum liked antique programmes at the time and didn't mind conversations going on in the room while she watched them, especially from the kids. My Niece asked a simple question, and Mum turned, scowled at her, and told her to "be quiet!!" This was surprising because Mum never spoke that way, especially to her Grandchildren. My Niece laughed it off, saying, "You're no
Nov 32 min read
Forgotten but still loved
While I have been caring for my Mum, there are many moments that stick in my mind, one of which is when Mum first forgot my name. It was an ordinary day at home. Mum and I were talking; perhaps I was speaking too quickly or hadn't noticed that she wasn't following what I was saying too well. I don't know. There was a pause, and she said, "Who are you anyway?" At first, I didn't really know how to take it. I thought it was banter and that she was just joking, but I also notice
Nov 32 min read
Things that help me care for my Mum
Nostalgic memories - those little reminders of the past that can truly warm Mum's heart. They can stimulate all sorts of experiences, such as the smell of her favourite childhood meals, photos that capture special moments, TV shows that shaped her views, and those cherished items that hold so much meaning. When it comes to relationships, especially with those who might be dealing with cognitive challenges, being present and genuinely listening to her is incredibly importan
Nov 33 min read
Disclaimer:
The blog posts featured on this site are written by volunteers and carers who generously share their personal experiences, reflections, and insights. These accounts are deeply individual and may not reflect the views or circumstances of all carers or care recipients. We recognise that each journey is unique, and readers may have different perspectives or experiences. The content is intended to foster understanding, connection, and dialogue—not to offer clinical advice or definitive guidance
bottom of page