Things that help me care for my Mum

Nostalgic memories - those little reminders of the past that can truly warm Mum's heart. They can stimulate all sorts of experiences, such as the smell of her favourite childhood meals, photos that capture special moments, TV shows that shaped her views, and those cherished items that hold so much meaning.

When it comes to relationships, especially with those who might be dealing with cognitive challenges, being present and genuinely listening to her is incredibly important. Even if the conversation feels a bit scattered, I have to remember that it means something to her. Her words can provide a glimpse into her thoughts and feelings, and by tuning in, I'm showing that I care about her experiences, making her feel heard and understood in her own unique way.

It is also essential to go along with her reality, even if it seems a bit odd or hard to grasp. Joining Mum in her world, rather than trying to pull her into mine, creates a safe space where she feels accepted. This approach not only helps ease frustration but also encourages Mum to share her thoughts more openly.

Unconditional love is the rock-solid foundation of any supportive relationship, especially when navigating the ups and downs of mental or emotional challenges. Offering steady reassurance of my commitment and care. It’s important to express this love openly, through both words and actions, as it can significantly uplift Mum's sense of safety.

That said, it is equally important to acknowledge that I'm human and have my own limits. Knowing my boundaries is crucial for maintaining my own mental and emotional health. I remind myself that it is okay to take breaks, reach out for support, and prioritise my own self-care. This way, I can be more present and supportive over time. Accepting that I can’t do it all helps me approach things with a clearer mind and a kinder heart.

On good days, I make sure to live in the moment and soak up the joy. I celebrate the little victories and enjoy the happiness found in everyday moments with Mum.

Empathy plays a significant role in my journey as her carer. While I might not fully grasp the feelings Mum is experiencing, acknowledging and validating those emotions is incredibly important. Even if her feelings seem a bit off, recognising their significance can bring comfort and reassurance.

Even in muddled minds, there’s often a hint of sense. The emotions and thoughts expressed, though unclear, can sometimes reveal deeper truths about how she is feeling. By approaching these moments with patience, I uncover insights that guide our interactions.

I find it’s best to avoid arguments, as engaging in disputes can lead to frustration for both sides. Instead, I try walking away when tensions rise, giving everyone a chance to cool off.

Sometimes, just holding her hand in silence conveys so much, creating a sense of safety and understanding. This quiet companionship provides reassurance during tough times.

There are amazing people in my life who truly understand and know just what to say when it matters. Surrounding myself with such individuals boosts my own ability to be compassionate and understanding, creating a network of support that lifts everyone up.

While it’s important to recognise that things might not always be okay, reminding myself that everything will be alright, even when circumstances feel uncertain, can bring a sense of peace to the chaos. This practice serves as a gentle reminder to stay optimistic, helping to foster a more positive outlook, even in challenging times.