“The Great Café Showdown”

Outings with Mum are different every time; you never know what is going to happen. This particular experience is from one of Mum's regular outings with her carer, who is fantastic with her.

In our community, we have a few wonderful places that provide a change of scenery for Mum without requiring extensive travel. She has visited this particular place multiple times before and is well-known there, as is her carer.

Mum typically goes out for about an hour. I waved her off at the door, saying, "Have a nice time, Mum; see you later." She was happy and looking forward to her outing. It was always reassuring to know she was going somewhere she enjoyed, which reflects the attention to detail her carer pays to Mum's preferences.

I had been out myself for some free time and arrived home shortly after they did. Once inside, I always catch up with Mum's carer before she leaves us for the day. She told me that she had just experienced a very roller-coaster hour with Mum—an experience that makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole! I know those feelings all too well.

What started as a pleasant afternoon of tea and cake, something they do together regularly, soon escalated into an unpredictable rage outburst inside a busy café. Mum began shouting at the top of her voice towards her carer, with no way to calm her down. This resulted in the owner asking them to step outside to look at some animals in an attempt to help her settle. Moments later, as they headed back to the car, Mum was startled by a young child running around and continued her outburst again. This time, they were merely passing through, but instances like these are incredibly challenging to manage. Yes, we both knew Mum didn't mean anything by it; clearly, something had originally triggered her, but that day, there was no telling what it was.

Sadly, things didn't end there. Mum then refused to get back into the car to return home, which meant it had to be left behind while they walked back to our house. We live at the opposite end of the village. As they were walking back, Mum experienced moments of agitation once more, but this time she started to get physical with her carer, which caused a passer-by to become concerned about the situation. The onlooker seemed to be circling around their route to keep an eye on them; whether he knew Mum or not, I didn't know.

Whilst it does bring some comfort to know that people will look out for you, it can also feel quite unsettling, as feelings of being judged can take over. Instead, a simple gesture of help can go a long way, even if it only serves as a distraction from the current situation.