Creating my village of support

Caring for an elderly person or those who are unwell and vulnerable is a role that cannot be undertaken alone. It takes a village to care for someone, and by that, I mean family members, healthcare professionals, social workers, pharmacists, GPs, specialists, nurses, and carers—you name it; we need them all!.

As a family carer, I know my Mum inside out and understand how she feels about being cared for, as well as what she does and doesn't want for her future when she started to need assistance. However, explaining that to some of 'my village' wasn't always straightforward; we all had different approaches, opinions, and practices.

They say the noisiest engine gets the oil. You have to be firm, and you have to be persistent when dealing with anybody else on behalf of your person. After all, I am Mum's voice now. I had spoken with her long before her diagnosis about her wishes for her future, and I was going to ensure they were granted, as much as possible.

'My village' and I are on the same page; we all understand each other with our main goal of keeping Mum as happy and comfortable as possible, ensuring she lives stress-free for as much of the foreseeable future as we can manage.

What has helped me create my village of support is that I had already discussed my Mum's wishes with her before her diagnosis. This gave me a clearer understanding of what she wanted, rather than making decisions for her without considering her feelings.

I also live with her, which allows me to observe how interventions, medications, and other factors affect her. This closeness enables me to quickly identify any changes or recognise if something isn't benefiting her.

Lastly, as she is my Mum, I know her well and understand the type of person she is. Therefore, when we needed outside help, I was aware of what to look for in someone who would be a good fit for her.