Things I find hard whilst caring for Mum

Negative Changes in Myself

I’ve noticed that my mood has changed, and I often feel angry without warning. This isn’t just a small annoyance; I react more strongly to things that used to bother me less. This makes it hard to stay calm. I feel frustrated and guilty because I’m not the person I used to be, which creates a cycle of anger and regret.

Losing My Sense of Self

I struggle with feeling disconnected from who I once was. The things that used to make me happy now feel empty. I miss the energy I used to have.

Life on Hold

As I deal with these emotions, I feel like my life is on pause. I miss the fun times and deep conversations that made life enjoyable. I generally feel very stuck, unable to move forward with my own life. I can't get the years back I am loosing being a carer.

Envy of Others with Their Mum

Seeing others interact with their Mum's makes me feel envious. I watch them share laughter and support, which reminds me of what I’ve lost. My Mum was not just a parent; she was my confidant. Now that she’s not the same person, I feel a void that can’t be filled. I miss her wisdom and guidance during tough times.

Missing My Mum's Advice

One of the hardest parts of losing my Mum to Alzheimer's is not having her to turn to for advice. She always understood me and offered clarity when I was overwhelmed. Now, every decision feels huge, and I wish I could ask her for help. I miss our chats.

Her Aggressive Behaviour

Sometimes, my Mum becomes aggressive, and I face her anger. It is painful to see her lash out, as this was so different from the nurturing person I knew. These moments leave deep scars on our relationship and add to my grief. I struggle with feelings of betrayal and hurt, trying to understand her behaviour.

Coping with Loss

Coping with the loss of someone I love feels like an endless cycle of grief. I often wonder how to manage this overwhelming sense of loss, which comes in waves. I’ve tried different ways to cope, but the question remains: how do you deal with losing someone repeatedly?.

Life Without Her

The thought of living without my Mum is daunting. I wonder how I will manage day-to-day life without her. Simple things like sharing meals or celebrating milestones will feel different. I know I need to adapt to a world without her, but that prospect is both scary and overwhelming.

Starting Over

I realise I will have to start from scratch once this chapter ends. Rebuilding my life without my Mum feels daunting. This process is both freeing and frightening.

Not Ready for a Relationship

I can’t even think about starting a new relationship right now. I’m still trying to understand my emotions and heal from the pain of gradually losing my Mum. Relationships need vulnerability and trust, and I fear no one will understand what I am going through. The fear of more loss holds me back from pursuing new connections, but I know I need to focus on myself for now.

Accepting Help

One of the hardest yet necessary steps in my journey is learning to accept help from others. I’ve always valued my independence, but this experience has shown me I can’t do it alone. Friends and family have offered support, and I’m slowly learning to lean on them. Whether it’s sharing a meal or just sitting having a chat, these moments remind me I’m not alone in my grief. Accepting help is crucial for my emotional well-being and a step toward reclaiming my life.

How some people treated her

Mum was always a shy character, had no enemies and would always help anyone in need. When she was diagnosed with dementia, some people instantly started to treat her differently, talked to her differently and in general saw her less than what she is. More a less took on the 'I don't want to bother her with this, we shall talk to you instead', Mum noticed she was being treated differently in the early stages, she would often say to me, 'I'm still me though, right?' - of course she was.