How I'm treated as a carer by others

I am fortunate to be surrounded by some very understanding and supportive people—those who ensure I am taking care of myself as well as my Mum. They offer unlimited reassurances, saying, "If you need anything, just ask," while also giving me the space to talk about anything I need to and offering advice.

On a different note, I have received one or two comments from certain individuals, such as, "Make sure you look after your Mum; she needs you," during my moments of despair when I was on the verge of throwing in the towel. For some reason, of all the wonderful acts of support and words of reassurance, these few comments really dampened my spirits. I felt like a puppet that wasn't allowed to stop dancing.

I have even encountered doctors and nurses referring to me as Mum's "carer" rather than her Daughter. Fortunately, after politely correcting them that I am her Daughter first and her carer second, this did not continue for much longer. It simply illustrates how our identities are often overlooked.

Carers are human beings with feelings and limits, often facing challenges that those on the outside could never imagine, being judged on the 5% of what others see or hear. Such comments, if I let them, could heavily discourage me from confiding in others or, let alone, asking for help.

Now, don't get me wrong; I absolutely love how much my Mum is cherished by most people. It truly warms my heart, and I know she would be overwhelmed if she realised just how much positive support she has behind her.

However, I couldn't help but feel, "What about me?" Why are my feelings perceived as less significant by such comments, which seem more like a dismissal of, "Pull your socks up and get on with it"? I am bending over backwards to ensure my Mum has the life she deserves for her final chapter, yet it seems acceptable for my feelings to be overlooked. Thankfully, it was only one or two comments, but all I really wanted to say was, "Think before you speak; you have no idea what my life is like, let alone my Mum's." We are human, and we care.